Building self confidence -
and a better life

Part 4 of 5. Public confidence

Confidence skills can be learned and building self confidence is something you can achieve.

In this forth part of the building self confidence article, we look at confidence to perform in front of others.

In this article we are looking at five elements that contribute to your level of confidence and they are:

how we act in social situations
how we act with our peers
how we treat others of different status than ourselves
how we respond to performing in front of others
how we think of ourselves

How we think and behave in these five areas will have a big impact on our level of self confidence.

Confidence to perform

self improvement advice Being confident to perform in front of others is the ability to be relaxed and positive when others are watching you, listening to what you say and measuring up your performance. This is not to be confused with acting, such as performing a part in a play. Rather, performance confidence refers to the ability to be yourself in all circumstances.

With a healthly level of performance confidence you can truly be free to express yourself in a natural and open manner. It means that you have little or no stress about "being put on the spot".

When you further develop your performance confidence you may be pleasantly surprised by how much you will command the attention of all those around you. Performance confidence is a powerfully persuasive skill that you can develop.

Building Performance Confidence Skills

As you already know, there is no magic solution to building self confidence, but here are some things that you can do at a self-help level. Practice these things and you will begin to develop a higher level of performance confidence.

1. Synchronize the butterflies. If you tend to be overcome with that feeling of a thousand butterflies swarming around your insides when asked to speak publically, don't try to settle them. Rather, get them all flying in the same direction. It is much easier to get them to work with you than to struggle with trying to get them all to land and stay still.

2. Treat everyone as your best friend. Speak about your dreams, visions and passions as if talking with your best friend. Be animated, be emotional, be whatever is required to convince your audience that you mean what you say, that you believe in this cause or position being taken.

3. Silence isn't always golden. At times as children we were pressured to be quiet. We were told that silence is golden as if it was a higher state to be attained. Sure, there are times when silence is the best position to take. But there are also times when breaking the silence is necessary. It is not necessary to be the most popular person who is always the center of attention and is invited to every party, just be sure you are not the wallflower.

4. Stay true to yourself. This is more important for your own self growth than for any impression others may have of you. After all, you are the one who has to live with you for the rest of your life. Practice speaking out about your values and beliefs. You may be pleasantly surprised just how many people have something in common with you but may have been afraid to speak up. By becoming more vocal in public settings you will not only be developing your performance confidence but also your peer and social confidence.

5. Prepare. If you know that you will be required to speak to a group of people about a topic then prepare for it. Include some humor, anecdotes and personal stories and weave the necessary content in and around these other elements. Telling a personal story is perhaps the most powerful way to engage an audience and relax yourself. When the personal story links strongly to the message you are delivering, you have a winning combination.